


making a heaven out of hell

by maketheworldalittlecolorful



Category: Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: Autistic Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice Needs a Hug, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Multi, adhd beetlejuice, also beetleb-bes dni or i’ll dropkick you off a cliff, another beetlejuice returns fic, because i want the bug man to get a family dammit, no beta we die like men, that’s pretty much this whole fic, why leave him with juno when charles and delia are so ready to adopt him, ”oh you woobified beej so much” yeah and??? he’s baby and that’s that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24768409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maketheworldalittlecolorful/pseuds/maketheworldalittlecolorful
Summary: In which I get my grubby little fingers all over the musical and force the found family feels I so desperately crave (and finally address some of the B-Man’s trauma).
Relationships: Adam Maitland/Barbara Maitland, Beetlejuice & Lydia Deetz, Charles Deetz/Delia Deetz
Comments: 40
Kudos: 124





	1. Ill Met By Moonlight

**Author's Note:**

> hello and welcome the result of me reading 48384 other beetlejuice fics and deciding that i should really just suck it up and write one. i’ve got a lot planned out for this fic, so i hope you enjoy!
> 
> (and yeah, i’m a classical lit dork so the titles are all shakespeare-inspired)

He had never been good at waiting. But right now, there was nothing to do but wait, so Beetlejuice bounced his leg, fidgeted with his chair, and looked desperately around the room for something, anything that could catch his attention. Unfortunately, the greyish stone walls of the Official Netherworld Processing Offices offered little in the way on piquing his interest. Normally, he’d be chatting with Maria, but he knew that Juno could emerge from her office to collect him at any time, and the last thing he wanted was for Maria to get in trouble for talking to him instead of working. 

So he settled for just looking pointedly at her, trying to catch her eye while she typed rapidly. Eventually she looked up, her gaze softening somewhat as she seemed to take pity on him, squirming in his chair. There was still a bit of a disapproving glare behind her eyes, though, and with good reason. He knew that what he’d done was wrong, and as much as he resented his mother, he would’ve been surprised to not be called in after what he did.

It started with a snarky newly-dead, who was apparently not so distracted by his own death that he wasn’t able to get in a few insults to the demon who was just trying to give him a Guide. He refused to just draw a door and leave, instead opting to take a few jabs at Beetlejuice’s tattered, faded suit. It was nothing he hadn’t heard before, but he’d never been great at controlling his temper and this combined with all the stress of returning to work had pushed him over the edge. So, with a few tricks he’d been keeping up his sleeve, he drew the newly-dead a door not to the waiting room, but instead to the Lost Souls’ room, forcing Juno to send a crew to retrieve him, and creating hundreds of extra pages of paperwork for Maria, who just hunched even further over her work as she heard Juno start to emerge from her office.

“Lawrence!” She didn’t even deign to look at him, instead just poking her head out of her office momentarily to screech his name. Well, no backing out now. Beetlejuice stood up and began dragging his feet towards her office; towards a fate so cruel that even Maria, who was still clearly disappointed in him, gave him a sympathetic smile as he passed.

Beetlejuice swung the door to Juno’s office open, wincing as the hinges creaked loudly. As he walked in, Juno didn’t turn around, instead opting to sit staring out her office window at the desolate landscape of the Netherworld. He took a seat regardless, and was about to speak when she abruptly spun around, smirking slightly when the squeak of her office chair made Beetlejuice cringe.

Within a few seconds, the smirk slid off her face, replaced by a disgusted look: one which Beetlejuice had spent much of his youth seeing almost daily. Despite being nearly a foot taller than Juno, it still made him feel as pathetically small now as it did back when he was a child.

“What in Satan’s name were you thinking, _Lawrence_?” She spat the name out like it had personally offended her, which it probably had.

“It’s not a big deal, it’s just some newly-dead who decided to be a smartass.” Beetlejuice’s voice held firm as he stared determinedly at the space over Juno’s shoulder.

A bad decision, apparently. Juno’s bony claws dug roughly into his hair, yanking on the purple locks to force him to look her in the eye.

“You _will_ look me in the eye, Lawrence. Show some goddamn respect for once in your life.”

Looking in her narrowed yellow eyes hurt, and Beetlejuice fought to keep his hands in his lap instead of letting himself bite at his knuckles.

“And it’s not just ‘ _some newly-dead_ ’,” Juno mocked in a derisive tone, “It’s you, causing problems and being a burden just like always. And, just like always, I had to clean up your mess. When will you grow up and learn to deal with your problems yourself, like a man?”

“I do deal with my problems myself, ma. I’ve been dealing with my problems myself since I was a kid, because _you_ never bothered to help me!” In his frustration, Beetlejuice’s waving arms knocked a crystal ashtray from her desk, and he froze as it shattered against the floor.

“And now you throw a tantrum. Typical. Why can’t you stop breaking everything you touch and talk to me like an adult. And I’ve told you to stop it with that fucking hair.”

“I can’t stop it, ma. I’ve tried.”

His eyes were looking away again, this time down at his lap where his hands were wringing anxiously together.

In fairness, he should’ve seen it coming. 

A blur flying at him and a resounding _smack_ filled the deathly silence of Juno’s office. Her hand lowered away from his face and into her lap, while Beetlejuice recoiled instantly, his cheek burning.

“Maybe now you’ll look at me when I speak to you.”

Beetlejuice watched as his body stood up, independent of his mind, and knocked his cold metal chair over as he began to back away. His hand grasped behind his back for the doorknob and turned it. Only when the door was open did he pivot around and make his escape, his footsteps hitting the floor to the rhythm of Juno’s shouts.

•••

His lungs burned, shoes clacking against the cold linoleum of the office building as he ran as far from Juno’s office as possible. He was close to the point of collapse by the time he finally reached his destination: the large wooden desk next to a massive, heavily secured door.

“Jake, I need to leave like, yesterday.”

“Dude, Juno’ll straight-up kill me if she knows I let you through.” The pockmarked teenager seated at the desk looked hesitant, his eyebrows raising so high they nearly hit the bloodied axe lodged in his forehead as he fiddled with his nameplate. “You’re like, the one guy I’m not allowed to open the door for.”

Beetlejuice was practically on his knees begging at this point. “C’mon, man, I’ll owe you one. Any favor, any time, no questions asked. Juno doesn’t have to know if we don’t tell her, but I _really_ need to go.”

“ _Ehhhh_...fine. Just go quick before she sees.” Jake pulled a remote covered in numbers from an inside pocket of his jacket, and pressed them in a rapid pattern. The door clunked open, and Beetlejuice shouted a thanks over his shoulder as he raced through.

•••

Everything was spinning. The world was black and white as psychedelic colors blurred together. After either fifteen minutes or six seconds, he fell ungracefully onto hard asphalt. After laying there for a few moments, making sure that his mother wouldn’t be following behind, Beetlejuice began to stand up, trying to find a landmark to figure out where the hell Jake’s door had dropped him. 

The air was hot and humid. The Netherworld didn’t have seasons so much as a set climate that was both too hot and too cold, but the stifling temperature led him to believe it was sometime during summer. Regardless of the time of year, Beetlejuice was sweating as he walked, pulling off his jacket and yanking his tie loose.

Eventually, the temperature became too overwhelming to continue walking, so he sat down on the edge of the sidewalk, closing his eyes and silently willing himself to be somewhere where he could at least spend the night with little fanfare.

A warm breeze brushed his cheek and Beetlejuice opened his eyes, fingers scrabbling for purchase on the shingles below his body. Teleporting was always disorienting, but it was infinitely worse when he didn’t even know he was doing it, so he whipped his head around, trying to gain his bearings. _Sky, backyard, birdbath, window, Sexy, fence_ \- wait, shit, Sexy?

Adam Maitland was staring out the window, semi-transparent and dressed in flannel pyjamas adorned with cartoon construction tools. His eyes widened as he took in the demon before him. 

“ _Beetlejuice?_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i probably didn’t proofread this as much as i should’ve, but i was too eager to just post this!
> 
> i’m actually really excited about this fic! there’s a lot of ideas that i’m super eager to work in here, and i’m hoping you guys will stick around for the ride. also, fun fact, i’m a huge fan of Chekov’s Gun, so that’ll definitely play in here. keep an eye out!
> 
> also, i picture the netherworld as a really bureaucratic place where it takes literally hundreds of years for anything to happen, so nothing really had time to change while juno was still regenerating from the sandworm attack. maria tried to make some changes happen, but there’s only so much she can do. 
> 
> speaking of maria, shoutout to the author of “Take Me Where My Soul Can Run” for giving miss argentina a perfect name that i intend to use liberally
> 
> another shoutout to @daydreamingjessi on tumblr for inspiring me to write a fic of my own by seeing her writing her radical fic (check it out if you haven’t already!)
> 
> thanks for reading, and please please please comment to let me know what you think! inside my brain there’s a little mouse who makes all of my ideas and her cheese is made of validation from strangers online. feed her!
> 
> (also, come yell at me to write more on tumblr @put-a-lil-alright-in-the-world)


	2. Too Early Seen Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> suddenly faced with a purple-haired new discovery, the household has a decision to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am i literally updating two days after posting the last chapter? maybe. what can i say, your guys’ lovely comments encouraged me to write some more! 
> 
> enjoy!

“ _Beetlejuice?_ ” 

Beetlejuice stumbled a few steps backwards, coming dangerously close to teetering off the roof before regaining his balance and shoving his hands deep into his pockets. 

“Heyyy...A-Dawg...what’s up? How’s it hanging? How’s Babs? Still sexy? Probably. I was actually jus-“

“What are you doing back here?” Adam’s voice was a few pitches higher than normal and he was slowly shuffling to an end table that Beetlejuice could see held a copy of the Handbook. “I thought you were leaving to try to find your dad.”

“Adam, Adam, Adam.” Beetlejuice sauntered forward, towards the window. This was performative, _this_ was something he could actually do. “Did you really believe that? Come on, sexy, that was just a cool exit line. Y’know, the ‘I’ll be back’ vibe. Plus, the whole being-abandoned-by-a-parent thing _really_ works with my brand.”

A voice from behind: “That still doesn’t explain what you’re doing here.”

Adam and Beetlejuice both jumped at the same time as a messy-haired Barbara appeared at Adam’s side.

“Oh great, more people are getting involved.” Beetlejuice rubbed his face, exhausted and not particularly wanting to stick around in a house that brought so many mixed emotions. “I didn’t actually mean to end up here, I teleported wrong. I’ll get out of your hair now.”

Beetlejuice shut his eyes and snapped his fingers once (which was decidedly not necessary for teleportation, but certainly helped the vibe) and waited to appear somewhere, anywhere away from this awkwardness. And ideally near an IHOP. 

A few moments later, he opened them to the confused expressions of Adam and Barbara Maitland.

“Shit, lemme try again,” he mumbled, closing his eyes again and focusing on just getting away from this house where he was most definitely not welcome. He didn’t even have to open his eyes to know that he hadn’t left the attic.

“Beetlejuice,” Barbara started, “what’s going on? Why can’t you leave?”

“Do I look like I know?”

He was rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet now, trying to stay calm even though nothing about this really made sense. “Got any chalk?”

•••

It was a lot cooler in the attic, where he stood awkwardly with Barbara while Adam floated around in search of some chalk.

“So,” he started uncomfortably, “how’s...things?”

“‘Things’ are fine.” Barbara’s tone was clipped, but who could blame her?

“Cool, that’s cool. Always good for things to be good. Or- fine, you said fine, not good. I guess they don’t mean the same thing, huh? Oh hey, that reminds me of a time when I h-“

“Found some!” Adam singsonged as he drifted back into the attic. Barbara and Beetlejuice both breathed a sigh of relief as the tension thinned a bit, and Adam, oblivious, pulled out a piece of white chalk from a pack and handed it to Beetlejuice.

“Awesome. Alright, you guys have been incredibly hospitable but,” Beetlejuice narrated cheerfully as he drew an unnecessarily large and ornate door on the attic wall, “I’m late for a...uhh...super kinky orgy. You know me, just...always orgy-ing”. He grimaced at that before giving a little wave and knocked three times on the door, prepared to beg Maria to use her abilities to open the door and teleport him to an abandoned house to sleep.

The door opened, glowing green as Barbara grabbed Adam and yanked him back away from the light. Beetlejuice stepped through, not looking back, but the door didn’t close behind him. Probably for the better, as he went flying back into the attic a moment later.

Before the Maitlands could say a word, Beetlejuice hopped up and strode back to the door, saying, “Must’ve malfunctioned...”

His tone was confident enough, but neither of the Maitlands missed the tension on his face as he prepared to run through again. This time, he didn’t even get both feet through the door before falling ungracefully backwards.

After a moment he stood up to try again.

And again.

And again, each attempt more frantic than the last. The sixth time, he paused, eyes desperate as he stared at the door.

Adam stepped towards him hesitantly. “Why won’t the door let you through?”

“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW, ADAM! IF I KNEW I’D BE GONE BY NOW!”

Adam jumped back, but Beetlejuice couldn’t bring himself to care because why the fuck couldn’t he get through he could always get through. His head felt fuzzy, a deafening buzzing almost drowning out the sound of the Deetzes running up to the attic. Apparently Beetlejuice had screamed louder than he thought.

Charles entered first, taking in the scene before him and almost instantly diving for the Handbook, which he then proceeded to wield like a bat. Delia was next, catching a glimpse of the demon and immediately turning to try to keep Lydia from entering.

Lydia had other plans, however, as she pushed effortlessly through the clump of adults and towards Beetlejuice, who had apparently dropped to the floor and was staring blankly ahead. “Hey. Hey dumbass,” she said quietly, “can you hear me?”

A beat, and then Beetlejuice nodded hesitantly, prompting Lydia to ask, “Can I touch you?” He gave another small nod, at which point Lydia dove in for a hug, grasping the back of his filthy suit in her fists and feeling him relax ever so slightly. “I missed you, creep.”

After a moment, she sat back, taking in his appearance. Honestly, he looked like a wreck. His hair was a plume of violet on top of his head, his eyes were surrounded by dark circles, and his expression more forlorn than it was on the roof when they first met. The other members of the household were not so quick to get close.

Charles was still holding the Handbook like a baseball bat, with Delia (and Adam) behind him, and Barbara beside him wearing a withering expression. “What do you want, demon?”

“Yeah!” Adam echoed from behind him.

Beetlejuice wanted to respond, to explain himself to these people that so obviously hated him, but he just couldn’t bring himself to talk. If felt like there was a block in his throat, something preventing him from justifying his presence, so he settled for just staring at the ground in front of the Deetzes and Maitlands as he gnawed anxiously on the knuckle of his index finger. He was rocking back and forth a bit and he couldn’t hear anything very well, but it was _fine, he was fine totally fine this was all normal and oh GOD why is Delilah walking towards him?_

Delia stepped out from behind Charles and crouched by him. “Hey.” Beetlejuice raised his head a little to stare at the wall over her shoulder. “Why don’t you go clean up a bit in the bathroom there, and then we can see about talking after?”

As he slowly got up to make the awkward walk to the bathroom, all he could think was that clearly she had improved at her whole “life-coaching” racket.

•••

Lydia was the first to break the stunned silence that followed Beetlejuice’s departure. “We have to let him stay.”

The moment her words registered in the minds of each adult, it became a battle to see who could disagree loudest; a battle which was won first by Charles. “Lydia, I understand that that...demon...helped you through a difficult time, but it’s easier said than done to take in an emotionally volatile undead creature”

“Yeah, hon, it’s just not safe,” Barbara echoed.

Lydia opened her mouth to defend her case, but before she even had a chance to argue, Delia spoke up. “Listen, I know it sounds a bit crazy, but I’m inclined to agree with Lydia here.”

“Darling, I-“

“No, really, Charles. He didn’t exactly seem violent now, did he? And everyone does deserve a second chance. I think if he wants to stay, he deserves an opportunity to prove himself.” When Charles still looked unconvinced, she added a “ _please_ , darling,” and Lydia, mildly grossed out by that display, watched at his defenses began to fall.

Adam and Barbara looked conflicted now, and Charles started to get a defeated look in his eye, but their debate was interrupted by the door still drawn in chalk on the wall creaking open. The family collectively stumbled back, with Charles stepping in front to wield the Handbook again.

In a puff of smoke and accompanied by what sounded like a “Halloween Sound Effects” CD that was definitely just for dramatic effect, Maria emerged, and Lydia (followed closely by Charles) ran forward to greet her.

As her and Lydia finished a long, intricate high-five they made up last time they met, the tense look on Maria’s face only grew. She looked up to take in the group. “Where’s Lawrence?”

Barbara was quick to explain, “He’s in the bathroom cleaning up. Speaking of which, what the absolute fuck -it’s okay, Adam- is he doing here?”

“Listen, Juno is angry. As in, unbelievably furious. She closed all the channels to and from the Netherworld.”

Delia was the first to pipe up, asking, “If all the channels are closed, how are you here?”

“Being Juno’s secretary comes with some convenient access to certain things. This channel will close soon, and it’s too weak to carry more than one person, otherwise I’d take him through now.”

“Wait, so, what does this mean for us?” Charles asked quickly.

“You five get the delightful privilege of keeping him out of trouble for the foreseeable future. Make sure he doesn’t cause too much a racket up here while I try to calm Juno down.”

She finished by giving an impatient and pointed look at her wrist, ignoring Adam’s protests of “You’re not even wearing a watch!”

“How long will that take?”

“It depends, really,” Maria sighed. “Anywhere from a year to a hundred years, it’s hard to gauge.”

“Listen,” Charles put on his best placating business smile. “You can’t possibly expect us to supervise that, that demon. You understand, it’s just unreasonable!”

“Oh, I expect exactly that. If he causes a disturbance and Juno comes down here to stop him, don’t think she won’t be after your sorry asses too!”

She effortlessly pushed him out of the way to make her way back to the door. After knocking three times, she turned back to the group. “So keep an eye on him. He’s a menace.”

The moment she’d gone, Lydia turned back to the adults with a triumphant expression.

“So...guess he’s gotta stay, huh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maria owns my whole heart thanks for coming to my ted talk.
> 
> adam,,,does not like swearing. it freaks him out a bit every time so barbara’s (mostly) gotten into the habit of finding ridiculous substitutes for curse words to annoy lydia with.
> 
> i’ve never actually checked a mood-ring-hair chart so i’m basing all my hair colours here off of other fics and my own guesses so here’s hoping it’s not too inconsistent with other fics!
> 
> also! i considered adding this into the chapter but i was worried the POV would be jumping around too much, but beej has absolutely no idea what he’s supposed to be doing in the bathroom. he’s just hyperventilating and fixing his suit :(
> 
> also also @ao3 i love you but if you keep merging my paragraph breaks I Will Cry
> 
> anddddd shoutout to @galaxymarky and @robin-the-robo for writing super encouraging stuff on all my posts about this little fic! ppl like you guys are the reason this is so fun!
> 
> i have a competition coming up so the next chapter likely won’t be out quite so quickly, but it’ll definitely be out within a week!
> 
> please please please comment to let me know what you think! i use the comments to forge a sword to battle the gremlin in my brain that says that my writing isn’t good!
> 
> also, come chat with me on tumblr @put-a-lil-alright-in-the-world!


	3. His Hour Upon The Stage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s just 🎶beetlejuice in the bathroom, at the deetz’s house🎶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hi hello i’m sorry this took forever! on the bright side, i finally worked out some plot kinks so hopefully the next chapters will be smoother to write! 
> 
> also someone please tell me that they read my chapter titles because i’m dying finding relevant quotes lol
> 
> i’ve written about 7 different poems in the past 2 days so i’m gonna keep my notes short to avoid them turning into prose. (butttttt COOL THING I just got some poems published! that’s right! i’m a published poet! which is rad!)
> 
> enjoy!

Contrary to popular belief, Beetlejuice wasn’t usually into muttering under his breath. It felt too artificial, too forced, and too cliché for a supervillain like himself. Right now, though, he couldn’t really help himself. 

“What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck,” he muttered, sat on the bathroom floor on a surprisingly soft rug. Currently, he was picking furiously at the fibers of the rug and choosing to ignore everyone discussing his fate outside the door. 

Suddenly, a pop and a fizz in the air in front of his face. A little spark slowly changed into a note in Maria’s neat handwriting. 

He quickly unfurled it and squinted in an effort to discern what it said. After a moment, however, he felt her voice pulsating through his head, and smiled despite himself; she always said he was hopeless at reading. 

“Lawrence, 

I hope this note finds you well. Or, at least, alive. Listen, I don’t have long, but I just explained the situation to that young girl you showed up with earlier and her family. They’re going to let you stay with them while this all blows over. Juno‘s currently showing off her powers. (She shrunk Dave’s head this morning, but I don’t think his intelligence will take a hit!)

Listen, I’ll try to keep Juno from getting after you. Your job right now is just to stay calm and not make waves. Screwing up could cost you your existence. 

Behave, niño!

-Maria”

Just seconds after her voice silenced in his head, Beetlejuice could hear footsteps walking towards the door and wedged himself even further into the corner of the bathroom. 

He braced himself for a handle turning and someone (probably Chuck, the guy hated him) barging in to shout at him, but instead flinched violently when he instead heard a light rapping on the door, and Lydia’s voice calling out, “Hey, can I come in?”

After a moment, he called back, voice raspy, “Uhh, yeah?”

Lydia opened the door and slipped in, closing it behind her and plopping down across from him. 

“Sooo...Maria just explained everything to us, and everyone’s kinda freaking out out there.”

“Yeah, I get it. She sent me a note,” he added at Lydia’s confused stare. 

“Don’t worry about it. The parentals will get used to the idea, and it’ll be cool having you stay here! Think of all the pranking possibilities!”

Beetlejuice forced a small smile.

“Yeah, totally.”

“Listen, why don’t you come outside, that way we can all actually talk, instead of everyone trying to listen to our conversation through the door!”

Four pairs of footsteps loudly speedwalked away from the door as Beej tried to figure out what to do. 

There were really three potential courses of action. One, he stays in this bathroom forever, eating nothing but Bath and Body Works moisturizing soap bars. Two, he tries to teleport elsewhere on Earth (something which is pretty much impossible since he doesn’t know any other places and therefore has nothing to visualize). Or, three, he sucks it up and faces the Deetz-Maitlands. 

Miss A didn’t raise no coward. Time to face the music. 

“Alright, Scarecrow, let’s do this.”

•••

For all of his usual demonic swagger, Beetlejuice currently looked pretty lame, as he tried in vain to shrink and hide behind Lydia. As they reached the adults, the uncomfortable silence of the room reached a new level of tension. Everyone was staring at Beetlejuice except for Adam, who kept glancing nervously away as though holding his gaze would turn him to stone. 

Charles was first to break the silence. 

“So, Mr. Juice, have you anything to say?”

“Uhh, yeah actually, never call me that again.”

Charles opened his mouth, then closed it again and began slowly massaging his temples. 

Delia picked up where he left off, prompting, “I think Charles meant, anything in regards to your previous time in our home?”

“Anything you’d like to...apologize for, perhaps?” Barbara added. 

“Ohh, oh shit, right. Ummm...sorry I wrecked your shit and also sorry I broke into your house and also also sorry I tried to exorcise Babs anddddd also also also sorry I tried to marry Scarecrow. In my defense, it really was just a green-card thing. I may be a demon, but I’m not a goddamn child predator. It takes a whole new level of messed up to think that that’s okay.”

“Well, Mr. Ju- ahem, well, it certainly is a relief to hear that, it was certainly weighing on all of our minds.”

“Hey, anything else?” Barbara looked annoyed now, something which left Beetlejuice extremely confused. 

“No? I don’t think so? I think I covered all my bases here.”

“I mean about your constant harassment of us!” Barbara’s enraged expression and snippish voice was a stark contrast to the way she gently leaned into Adam. 

Well, that didn’t make any sense. 

“Harassment? Me? I did not! I was nothing but polite and flattering to you two!”

“You were not!” Adam nearly shrieked, “You kept trying to kiss and grope us! You didn’t listen when we said ‘no’ and you never bothered asking for consent!”

Beetlejuice could feel his face getting hot. Their anger was confusing, and he didn’t like being confused, so he hastened to cover it up. 

“Listen, dont try to mix me up by making up fake words. All I know is that we had some hardcore flirting going on, and if Scarecrow hadn’t stabbed me we definitely would’ve banged.”

At Beetlejuice’s last words, Charles hastily moved to cover Lydia’s ears, but she quickly wrestled him off and reached over to slap Beetlejuice.

“You didn’t ask for consent? And you still wasted an entire day during the Juicening crying about how Adam and Barb wouldn’t make out with you? You’re such an idiot...”

“Am not! And I didn’t ‘cry’, I whined, there’s a difference!”

Delia, who had been mostly silent for the past few minutes, finally spoke up. 

“Wait, Beetlejuice, you do know what consent is, right?”

Beetlejuice scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“Uhh, yeah, of course, who doesn’t?”

“Explain it to me,” she replied, not unkindly. 

“Well, it’s...you know, it’s hard to describe,” he stumbled over his words, noticing belatedly that his hands had migrated to pull on his now-yellow hair. His mom hated when he did that. 

Delia carefully threaded her hands under his and pulled them gently out of his hair. “How ‘bout we remind you real quick?”

Beetlejuice nodded quickly, head down. Anything to stop his raging embarrassment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for some reason i was like “wow what if i fit a thousand different tropes into one chapter” and didn’t realize that that would make this really tough to write.
> 
> anyways, CONSENT TALKS TIME! *slaps roof of beej* this guy can fit so much trauma in him 
> 
> you’ll see more predictable tropes next chapter too because i’m a simple soul that writes for the soul purpose of making beej get vulnerable. but also i wrote this for free so nobody can tell me to stop 
> 
> also super stressed because i’m starting to hyperfixate on stuff other than this musical! which makes writing this fic kinda hard! but i will finish this! even if it means writing 27 more chapters!
> 
> aight i’m gonna cut this short so that i can finally sleep
> 
> send me stuff to answer when i wake up at @put-a-lil-alright-in-the-world on tumblr!

**Author's Note:**

> i probably didn’t proofread this as much as i should’ve, but i was too eager to just post this!
> 
> i’m actually really excited about this fic! there’s a lot of ideas that i’m super eager to work in here, and i’m hoping you guys will stick around for the ride. also, fun fact, i’m a huge fan of Chekov’s Gun, so that’ll definitely play in here. keep an eye out!
> 
> also, i picture the netherworld as a really bureaucratic place where it takes literally hundreds of years for anything to happen, so nothing really had time to change while juno was still regenerating from the sandworm attack. maria tried to make some changes happen, but there’s only so much she can do. 
> 
> speaking of maria, shoutout to the author of “Take Me Where My Soul Can Run” for giving miss argentina a perfect name that i intend to use liberally
> 
> another shoutout to @daydreamingjessi on tumblr for inspiring me to write a fic of my own by seeing her writing her radical fic (check it out if you haven’t already!)
> 
> thanks for reading, and please please please comment to let me know what you think! inside my brain there’s a little mouse who makes all of my ideas and her cheese is made of validation from strangers online. feed her!
> 
> (also, come yell at me to write more on tumblr @put-a-lil-alright-in-the-world)


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